Welcome! This page features farm-fresh jokes cultivated straight from my neurons, cruelty-free. (Though my wife, faithful sounding board she is, has described the workshopping process as "painful.")
I encourage you to share these freely, so that the world might be more replete with laughter. But think of me every time you tell one.
Why did the War Amps branch have to close?
They didn't have enough members.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The World Health Organization.
The World Health Organization WHO?
Ah, I see you're familiar with our work…
Did you hear about the French chef who misplaced his prized ingredient then killed himself?
Yes—the police say he lost the huile d'olive.
What do werewolves use to thicken their soups?
A-roux! A-a-rooooux!
(Alternative setup: what did President Nixon use to thicken his soups?)
Yeah, I had an appointment with that Dr. Duck once. But it turns out he was a total quack.
What do you get when you put a bunch of music-playing polymers together?
A rubber band!
Seriously Stupid Spoonerisms
What's the difference between a look of confusion and a German badger?
In the first, your brow furrows; the second is Frau Burrows.
What's the difference between a Hefeweizen and Tiger Woods?
The first's a wheat beer, the second beat Weir.
(N.B. this is best told with a ridiculously overdone German accent.)